its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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