so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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