Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize