Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
