seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize