Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Randomize
