So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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