yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
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