playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize