***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
