is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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