Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
