I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
