Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
