Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
