I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
