Do you still have your period?
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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