So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Randomize
