The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
