apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
