she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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