you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
