he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
