Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
