There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
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