Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
