i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Randomize
