Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
