I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
