hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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