im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize
