i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
