i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
