I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
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