A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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