i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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