is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Randomize
