STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
