what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
