is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
