apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
