I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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