her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
