He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Randomize