kristin has been a bad kristin
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
