My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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