It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize