She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
