Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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