Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
