It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize