I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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