do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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