I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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