What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
