What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
