WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
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