i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
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