I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
