the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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