Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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