: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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