i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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