She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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