I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
